- 1 c butter
- 2 c flour
- 2 pkg cream cheese
- 1 1/2 c brown sugar
- 2 eggs slightly beaten
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- 2 tsp butter
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 c chopped pecans
Mix butter, flour, cheese, and form into small balls. Press each ball into mini muffin tins.
- Mix and spoon 2/3 full into pressed dough.
- Bake @ 350 30 min
As I pack and prepare to launch my 18 year old baby chick, my youngest child, off to college, I am forced to ponder what my “new normal” will be.
What will it be like not having her flip flops scattered all over the house? No eye rolls, no waiting up for her as my imagination wreaks havoc on every possible worse case scenario? Ironically, I will probably miss those annoyances out of sheer habit, or maybe I’ll just miss my maternal need to be needed. But mostly, I wonder what it will be like without my TV pal. Not having the comfort of her mere presence here, home, in the nest.
Since the day I dropped her off at kindergarten, I have been searching for the brakes to slow down this process, this growing up and moving on. Unfortunately, there are no brakes and I am being forced to free fall into this next chapter. The only choice I have is how I respond to it – I can fall into it screaming cussing and crying or try my best to embrace the adventure that lies ahead for both of us. That’s not to say I won’t shed tears or have moments of sorrow, but it will be exciting to see where she lands after taking flight… and where I land, too.
When Kids Mess Up
“Choices” is a buzz word for us parents today to remind our kids about the consequences of their actions. I recently ran into a friend of mine who was upset by a bonehead move her teenage son made (could have been deadly). I am a huge self anlayser, (almost to the point of insanity) so it got me thinking about how I handled and continue to handle it when my children do not do as they should.
The YELLER always Looses
How do we as parents not take it so personal? My immediate reaction is it’s a somehow a reflection on me. Wether it was a silly grade school infraction or a much bigger possibly life altering choice–there is always that feeling of “What the heck were you thinking? I know you know better because I taught you, damn it!” The absolute most important lesson I have learned after having screwed up so many times is DONT YELL! The ‘yeller’ is always disarmed of all power cuz the ‘yelley’ shuts down. The discipline convo is much more effective if you can remove taking it personal and not yell. This is just my little tid bit from my journey cuz it’s gonna happen, they are gonna screw up–it’s the only way for them to learn and we can help them learn by not doing the knee jerk approach–take it from a veteran/retired knee jerker.
Parenting with Love and Logic this is an excellent resource and it’s not just for small children, same logic works on older kids even in-laws!
EXAMPLE: Finding the “Derby Love” amid the derby brutality. I swooped to hang with some roller derby gals aka “derby sisters” and what a dichotomy these chicks have. To my shock this barbaric female sport has incredible heart. Underneath the ferocity, aggression, tough hits and pads were girls, moms, friends,”derby sisters”- a “wolf pack.” They come together and play this game they love and form incredibly tight bonds. Their unique comradery is felt in their presence.
My Take away…..
Coming from my vanilla world, I had assumed they would be scary badass girls-and yes, they are on the track. But off the track, to my surprise they have an incredible sweetness. Just another lesson to me about acceptance and judgement. I challenge anyone to make an effort out of your comfort zone to reach out to your “not norm” and what you will find is truly empowering! Try it and let me know what happens.