When Kids Mess Up

“Choices” is a buzz word for us parents today to remind our kids about the consequences of their actions.  I recently ran into a friend of mine who was upset by a bonehead move her teenage son made (could have been deadly).   I am a huge self anlayser, (almost to the point of insanity) so it got me thinking about how I handled and continue to handle it when my children do not  do as they should.

The YELLER  always Looses

How do we as parents not take it so personal?  My immediate reaction is it’s a somehow a reflection on me.  Wether it was a silly grade school infraction or a much bigger possibly life altering choice–there is always that feeling of  “What the heck were you thinking?  I know you know better because I taught you, damn it!”    The absolute most important lesson I have learned after having screwed up so many times is DONT YELL!  The ‘yeller’ is always disarmed of all power cuz the ‘yelley’ shuts down. The discipline convo is much more effective if you can remove taking it personal and not yell.    This is just my little tid bit from my journey cuz it’s gonna happen, they are gonna screw up–it’s the only way for them to learn and we can help them learn by not doing the knee jerk approach–take it from a veteran/retired knee jerker.

 

 

Parenting with Love and Logic  this is an excellent resource and it’s not just for small children, same logic works on older kids even in-laws!